Director Tim Burton and superstar Johnny Depp taking on a sorta-sequel to “Alice In Wonderland” with Danny Elfman scoring the music. And the film is in 3-D. This should all equal one great time at the movies. Right? After all, Tim Burton’s dark sensibilities, and Johnny Depp being one of the only actors who GETS said sensibilities (with the ability to execute them on screen) has lead to magical results in the past.
This version of “Alice In Wonderland” connects us very well with Alice and her mind. And it’s got the Tim Burton stamp of “Weird and Amazing” all over it.

The production design of this film is absolutely gorgeous. The character design is flawless. It’s like the late Alexander McQueen got together with Jean-Paul Gaultier and decided to go “out there for a change” for a Fellini project. The soldiers we all know made of cards have been remixed and look amazing.

And I really love Tim Burton’s work. So it’s hard for me to say that, great visuals aside, I don’t think this film exceeds any other expectations.

The bad outweighed the good, and made this potentially 4-star movie a 2.5.

First of all, there was no need to have this film in 3-D. It brought nothing to the story and didn’t even make this a better piece of art. There were maybe 80 seconds of “wow” in this film from a 3-D effect point-of-view. Admittedly, it’s going to be difficult for ANY film to make 3-D special post-”Avatar”, but this film is just fine in regular ol’ 2-D.

Secondly, It was like some actor was doing a Johnny Depp impression for most of the movie. Johnny’s performance as The Mad Hatter was so far beneath his talent, I was amazed.

Mia Wasikowska is a decent Alice, and she definitely tried her best with what she was given.

I’m probably alone in this, but I wonder if Depp and Crispin Glover should have traded roles. Glover’s really interesting as The Knave of Hearts, and channels an excellent “Space Commander Travis” (of BBC’s 80s sci-fi series “Blake’s 7?) inspired look. The dynamic between the Knave and the Queen of Hearts was also very “Blake’s 7”, with Helena Bonham Carter’s “Queen of Hearts” as the vain and fashion-forward “Supreme Commander Servalan”, and the Knave as Travis.

This is a Tim Burton movie, so it’s no surprise that the bad guy’s gonna be a little cooler. He’s a master at making evil stand out. But in this movie, you’re rooting for the Red Queen mainly because you don’t know enough about the White Queen to care. Anne Hathaway may have delivered a great performance, but we aren’t given enough information to know. It’s like she’s making a guest appearance.

I kept waiting for some moment of brilliance. Some memorable moment to attribute to some character…some actor. It’s not there. I’m not sure if I’m holding this film up to the filmmaking standards of Tim Burton or the expectations of the story, but on both scales, I was disappointed.

I apologize to all of you who sat through the remake of Douglas Adams‘ “The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy“. I now know how you feel. When you aren’t emotionally attached to a story because you grew up on it, it’s hard to care. This movie is really easy to love if you know the story by heart, because all you want is to see your favorite part represented on screen. If everyone says their lines right, it would seem that everyone’s happy. But if you didn’t grow up on this story, it sorta leaves you on the outside of a series of inside jokes with no explanation.

And finally…there’s the ending. There’s a neat message of empowerment for young girls hidden DEEP, DEEP in the ending of this movie, but you have to take into account what time period this film is supposed to represent, because after Alice’s extreme mission of self discovery in Wonderland, and some great and immediate applications in the “real world”, it’s all sorta sent back to zero by one extremely sexist remark.

This movie keeps setting up amazing situations, but never stays in a good groove. This film should win lots and lots of technical awards, and will no doubt make lots of money, but no amount of 3-D or effects can replace good storytelling. I love Tim Burton’s work usually, but this is Tim Burton on cruise control.

A must-see for die-hard Burton fans and graphic designers. For the rest of us? Matinee viewing at best.

Rating: 2.5 Stars
Rated PG for fantasy action/violence involving scary images and situations, and for a smoking caterpillar.
Running time: 108 Minutes
Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures